when life is loud

Once upon an October I decided to be Quiet. I met with my friend and tried to explain why I’d be speaking less in our church small group, and probably saying less between us. I walked far without music and I tucked in silence things that sometimes seemed important to articulate. I came to realize that the fruits of humility and gentleness in my life are very much connected to my tongue and my opinions. It was very transformative for me. 

I have recently been convicted again of God’s invitation to be slow to speak. Slow to speak, quick to listen. Slow to have unsolicited vocalized opinions. Slow to post. Slow to contribute to The Internet. 

There’s this a tiny intangible magnifying glass that causes quite a bit of distraction for me. I’ve been fascinated by my thumb’s attraction to it. All it does is fill my mind with things I wish I could un-read; 15 second videos I sometimes wish I could unsee; cause me to chuckle at some unsuspecting person in public’s expense. It clutters my insides. It makes so much of life seem like an inescapable frenzy; it casts my eye away from the Glory of God. And on the other hand, it makes biblical narratives all the more believable to me. 

I want a quiet life; and I get to make choices. I want joy and peace and patience and self-control and purity. I am appalled by what has become the norm to consume, what’s become acceptable 20-second entertainment. I grieve sometimes that we really seem to no long consider some things sacred. I wonder how much more of Jesus I would have room for if I wasn’t collecting little moments of other people’s advertised lives. And all I have to do is just not tap a tiny intangible magnifying glass.

But I tap it. 

…this is not a Bekkah-bashes-social-media post, or a Bekkah-announces-a-ghosting-season post. 

It’s just a slow, unsolicited contribution to The Internet. 

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“We are frequently wrong in our initial perceptions, and we bring all sorts of presuppositions and biases to [our] own understanding. If we are quick to speak and slow to listen, we will find ourselves, however unintentionally, a satanic* stumbling block for others.” Jon Bloom | Things Not Seen

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*in reference to Matthew 16:23