So the other day I made the terrible mistake of starting my day by checking in on how someone else was starting hers. ha. I don’t have any social media accounts besides like, this, but I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I lurk on people who advertise their instagram accounts on other platforms by just adding their handles to the backend of the instagram URL. So that’s what I did the other day, and this woman had posted a graphic design that said “good things come to those who hustle.” My initial reaction was disgust followed by a self-reprimand of, see that’s why you don’t need to be on here…judging folks… But then, I really wanted to understand why I responded that way.
I think the reason that it grated on me is because it’s not entirely true. The more experiences I live through the more thoroughly I become convinced that grace and providence really are as far reaching and pervasive as the air we breathe and the muscles that cooperate with us when we turn over and lurk instagram in the morning; so when people post things that are essentially boasting in their abilities and accomplishments, it’s a bit off-putting to me.
While I wasn’t hating on that beauty guru lady, I do find myself comparing songs I’ve written to songs that win accolades, notoriety, and awards like psh my songs are at least as good as that… But honestly, what difference does it make? Yes, it takes work and effort, but I will be the first to tell you that my ability to write decent music is a gift I did not garner.
Some days my heart is black with envy and frustration, but comfort can be found in the fact that God is not wasteful. He gave this gift to me, and he’ll do something with it… eventually, perhaps. But even if I am the only one who hears them, it’s still absolutely true that the songs I’ve written in the past couple of years have served the humble purpose of comforting my own soul.
~ b, the humming bird